Memevengers: Age of Edtron
by Edtrin
Summary: Story written as a joke between me and my friends. You will not get the humor; I do not recommend unless you are one of them WARNING: Explicit Language


**Introduction**

The Memevengers, the greatest heroes ever to walk the face of the earth. After defeating ISIS in World War III, they've lived a life of luxury and are looked at by the general public as god-tier citizens. Made up of seven individual members, The Memevengers use their powers to stop the forces of evil.

 **I-Ron Man (Karl Thaler):** Successful scientist and professional stoner, Karl Thaler invented his green supersuit on one beautiful April 20th morning. He needed to find a way to protect his drug dealer from the police, as well as stop the feminazis from taking over his area of the neighborhood. His suit allows him to shoot bullets like the edgy white kid he is, blow after-smoke into his enemies faces to stun them, and give him the ability to fly, though he cannot fly while high; he says even when he stops, it still feels like he's flying.

 **Captain 'Merica (Ryan Gibson):** A successful psychedelic musician during the 1960s, Ryan Gibson was drafted into the Vietnam War to help fight the commie bastards. He was very successful during his time on the field. Him and his friend, Lt. Ballard, kicked every charlie ass that came in their way. However, he was captured by Ho Chi Minh's men and frozen in carbonite. After the war ended, The United States took back Gibson's frozen body and held onto him until they knew they needed him. That day was September 10th, 2001, when President George W. Bush unfroze Ryan Gibson and gave him a super suit, creating Gibson's alter-ego Captain 'Merica. Bush needed him to go into the World Trade Center the next morning and melt all the steel beams because jet fuel wouldn't be able to do so; Captain 'Merica relentlessly agreed. Since then, he has been fighting the evil forces of towelheads in the name of freedom.

 **.tor (Jesse Chavez):** A literal God among men, .tor came from the heaven of the New York City punk scene. Being noted as the god of the bass, Jesse Chavez was sent to earth to save popular music. The only thing he had to protect him was a squeaky hammer. He lives with his earth parents, reading comic books and protecting the world from posers.

 **Bloke (Trenton Stone):** One day while masturbating, American basement dweller Trent Stone came so hard that his jizz flew out his cock and onto a broken lava lamp. Curious to know the taste, he picked up his own splooge and put it in his mouth. He gagged on it like he was eating something spicy because this jizz didn't taste like the kind he was used to; it tasted radioactive. The next morning, he went on an online message board where someone started a cringe thread. An anonymous user posted something relating to ponies. Trent's adrenalyn rose, and he grew three times the size of him into the incredible Bloke, with super strength and amazing rugby skills. He's used his power for good to rid the cancer of the world.

 **Black and White Widow (Adam Michelle Weideman):** A transgendered filmmaker, Adam Michelle Weideman was incredibly successful in the independent scene. Her movies were critically acclaimed, and she made a name for herself in the Los Angeles Art Scene. Then one day, she saw a movie so awful that it completely broke her sanity. That movie was K-11. The acting was garbage. The story was boring. The dialog was laughable. She questioned why she was even in the film business at all. She acquired a bunch of guns incredibly easily because gun control is non-existent, and went to the Libertine Films headquarters, the company that greenlit this shitfest. She threatened them enough to let them make sure that no more garbage will flood theaters, and that they had to spread the word to the other studios or else she would return; they did so. She uses her power to make sure that audiences are only seeing quality products.

 **Cockeye (Vince Mena):** Notable for his incredible rapping abilities, Vince Mena would spend weeks locked in his room playing Final Fantasy XIV. He was highly respected in the game, so much so that the game developers gave him something that nobody else had: downloadable fire arrows. He became so obsessed that he eventually acquired his own real arrows, and would spit fire while he shot them to make sure that they were hot when they pierced his enemies. He had no intentions of using these for good; he just didn't want people to get into his zone.

 **Dick Fury (Braxton Dula):** Founder of the Asians of Shield, a law enforcement agency to protect the planet, he was able to rally all of these heroes together and create the invincible super hero squad the world would ever see. Invincible until one day…

 **Chapter One: Some Fuckboi Is Messing with Shit**

It was a beautiful Friday afternoon. Karl and Jesse were hanging out near the wash smoking buds.

"Hey, Jesse," Karl said. "Check it out." He held up an apple core. "I'm gonna drill a hole through this and smoke it."

"Cool," Jesse said.

Karl used his supersuit to cut a hole through the apple core. He filled it with marijuana, lit it, and inhaled it. He coughed a shit ton afterward, but it gave him the high of his life.

"Tastes kinda fruity," he said.

"Cool," Jesse replied.

All of a sudden, they both got a text message. It was from their leader, Braxton.

"ayyy memevengers. Getchu ass over here."

Karl replied: "Bitch, where?"

"Headquartas," Braxton texted. "we gots an umergency."

"Shit," Karl said. "We better get going."

Jesse climbed on Karl's back. Karl lit his boots up and began to float, but he was unable to control where he was going because of how high he was. He didn't know what to do, so he told Jesse he was going to go sleep for awhile in front of Trent's house before going to headquarters; Jesse just walked.

Meanwhile, at the local Sufjan Soundstage, Adam and Ryan were chilling out and listening to the latest releases by underground indie rock.

"You know," Ryan said. "You should really check out The Flaming Lips."

"I will eventually," Adam replied. "I don't really know where to start."

"Well, they have a lot of albums, so I guess you can start anywhere."

"Let me ask these guys." Adam stood up. "Hey everyone, what album from The Flaming Lips should I start with?"

Everyone looked at her. "Who the fuck are The Flaming Lips?" somebody said.

At that moment, they got the same message from Braxton that Karl and Jesse received.

"Shit sounds important," Ryan said. "Come on, let's go."

"Wait!" Adam said. "Arctic Monkeys are playing."

Ryan stood and listened for a second. She was right; the speakers in the lounge were playing "Fake Tales of San Francisco" from the Monkeys' first album. They both nodded their heads at each other, knowing that they were witnessing awesomeness. Then they started playing something from Humbug; it was at that moment that they decided to leave and go to headquarters.

Trent and Vince were both at home watching anime when the text was sent. They quickly got ready, and took the bus.

Headquarters was in a secret room on the second floor of their usual hangout, Everest Burger. The Memevengers sat around the table waiting for their nigger leader to join them. Braxton then walked in, staring at his phone, and sat down.

"yo, maymayvengers," he said. "we gots sum real shits going on."

"Well, what is it?" Ryan asked.

Braxton sniffed, and then began talking. "wut we no is that sumbody broke into WatchMojo headquarterz an' stole their golden YouTube Play Buttun."

"The gold one?!" Karl said.

"Golden?" Trent asked. "Like Vince's mixtape?"

"MAN, YOU SHUDDUP," Vince said. "I DON'T EVEN HAVE A MIXTAPE MAN SHIT!"

"ayy, quit," Braxton said. "shits serious."

"Well, who's the prime suspect?" Adam asked.

"sumthing whos nevr ben seen b4. sumthing not uv this world."

"IS IT ALIEMS?" Vince said.

"no. not aliems. sumthing worse."

"Jesus," Adam said. "What could be worse than aliems?"

Braxton leaned in. "mexicans."

They all groaned.

"yup," Braxton said. "all we no is that whoevr stole it wuz a mexican youtuber who goez by teh name Edtron."

"Edtran?" Ryan asked.

"no," Braxton replied.

"Edtrin?" Trent asked.

"no; edTRON. he bilt a supersuit wit' eight legz that rezembles an… an…"

They all leaned in with anticipation.

"Resembles an WHAT?" Ryan asked.

"an OCTOPUUUUUS," Braxton finally said.

They all gasped.

"Well, what are we gonna do?" Karl asked.

"he wuz last seen downtown. I think we shood try ther. everybudy cum to my truck."

They all piled in the back of Braxton's truck, and drove to Downtown Los Angeles.

 **Chapter 2: The Memevengers' First Encounter with Edtron**

Braxton only ran over five people on his way to Downtown L.A. They all got out of the back of the truck, and walked through the streets. There was no sign of anybody.

"Where the fuck is he?" Ryan asked.

"idk," Braxton said. "but i think we shood split up. I-Ron Man, .tor, and Black and White Widow, you three look in teh art district. Bloke and Cockeye, you look in Chinamentown. Captain 'Merica, ur wit me. We'll be in teh financial district."

"Got it," Ryan said. Everybody split up.

Jesse, Adam, and Karl were walking across the pavilion of the arts district.

"Hmmm," Adam said. "If I were a gamer… where would I terrorize a city?"

"Probably in midtown," Karl suggested. "Like in GTA."

"Maybe," Adam said. "But that's where Captain 'Merica and Dick Fury went. Video games are more related to art than finances, so I'd assume he'd be here... but where?"

She scanned her eyes around the art district, but saw nobody in sight.

"Hey, while you guys look," Karl said. "I'm gonna go find a bathroom somewhere."  
"What?" Adam asked, still looking. "Oh yeah, sure sure, go ahead."

Karl wandered off. Jesse and Adam continued looking.

"Ay," Jesse said, and pointed across the street. There was a Gamestop.

"Gamestop, PERFECT!" Adam exclaimed. "Come on, let's go!"

They ran across the street and went inside. The store was torn to shreds. Adam took out a pistol and held it up, while Jesse manned his squeaky hammer. All of the games were taken out of their cases and the shelves were all pushed over.  
"Looks like he was looking for something," Adam said. They heard crying coming from behind the register. Adam slowly walked over, peeked over the counter, and saw a Gamestop employee laying there in fetal position.

"Yo," Adam said to him. "What's wrong?"

"This Mexican," he said. "Came in here and ransacked the store. Took everything! All he wanted was the new Battlefield controller, but I told him we didn't have it!"

"So what did he do?"

"He killed my coworker," the Gamestop cried. "Looked at him and yelled, 'My nigga, you just got roasted!' Then he looked at me and said I would be next!"

"Where did he go?"

"He said he had to take a shit."

Jesse and Adam looked at each other and yelled: "KARL!"

In the bathroom, Karl was rolling a doobie in one of the stalls. He began to smoke it, and leaned forward looking at the ground as he exhaled. He stared at the tiles, but then noticed there was toilet paper all over the floor. Used toilet paper. He got up and left the stall, looking around the room. There was used toilet paper everywhere. Then he heard some footsteps behind him. He turned, and saw nobody. Then he heard it on the other side of the room. He looked, same thing, nothing. Then he heard one of the stall doors close.

"Find me, bitch," a voice said. "Bet you can't."

"Pppttt," Karl said. "HIGHLY unlikely."

He walked over to the stall, and opened it. Nothing. He went to the next stall, opened it. Nothing. He opened each one and saw nothing.

"What the f?" he said.

"Hah hah, tricked you!" the voice said. "I went in one the previous ones when you weren't looking!"

Karl went to the previous stall and opened it. In it was Edtron, sitting there, looking at him.

Karl gasped. "Yoooouuuu SNEAKY mom!"

Edtron grabbed one of his legs, and threw him out of the bathroom. Outside, Adam and Jesse were running towards it, and suddenly saw their friend flying towards them.

"Duck!" Adam yelled. They jumped to the floor and Karl flew over them, landing on the pavement. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Karl said. "I'm so high, I didn't feel anything!"

"Jesse, let's take him!" Adam exclaimed.

"I'm down."

They rushed towards Edtron, Adam pointing her gun and Jesse charging up his hammer. Adam shot a bullet at Edwin's head, but it just bounced off. Confused, she stopped, and shot three more rounds. They just ricocheted off.

"What the fuck?" she said.

"Let's just say I have a hard shell," Edwin said, then he snatched one of Adam's legs and threw her over the buildings.

She landed in the financial center, right in front of Braxton and Ryan.

"wrekt," Braxton said.

"Black and White Widow, where is he?" Ryan asked. Adam pointed her finger in the direction she came. Ryan ran there, and Braxton dragged Adam to his car.

Back in the art pavilion, Jesse ran up to Edtron, jumped up high and pounded his hammer into Edwin's head. It squaked and Edtron felt nothing. Jesse hit him over and over again and it kept squeaking.

Edtron started laughing. "Is that a joke?!" He swung one of his octopus arms at Jesse, who flew and hit one of the buildings.

Karl stood up. "Hey, that's mean!" He shot some bullets at Edtron, but like Adam's gun, they weren't effective.

Right then, Ryan approached from around the corner.

"Hey, Edtran!" he yelled. Edtron looked over. "Think you're tough shit, don't ya? Well I have AMERICA, bitch!" Ryan threw his stars and bars shield at Edtron.

"UH!" Edtron yelled when it hit him. He crossed his arms and stared at Ryan. "Try me, bitch."

"I-Ron Man!" Ryan yelled. "Go pick up Bloke and Cockeye. Me and .tor will take on Edtron until you get back."

"Gotcha," Karl said, and flew towards Chinamentown.

Vince and Trent were walking down the street looking in all the merchant shops for Edtron.

"NIGGA WE AIN'T GONNA FIND SHIT," Vince said.

"Nigga, relax," Trent said. "He's gotta be around here somewhere."

Just then, he was distracted by a kiosk that sold butterfly knife keychains. He picked one up and was looking at it. The Chinese woman who ran the kiosk approached him, pointing at the keychains.

"ONE DOLLA, TWO DOLLA," she yelled.

"Oh," Trent said. "I'm just browsing."

"ONE DOLLA, TWO DOLLA."

"I'm just looking, thanks."

"ONE DOLLA, TWO DOLLA."

"I don't really want one, but thank you."

"ONE DOLLA, TWO DOLLA."

"Okay, fine!" he said, and gave the woman a dollar. He and Vince walked away from the stand. When they got far enough away where she couldn't hear them, Trent leaned over and said: "Fucking bitch."

Karl lowered himself in front of them. "Come on, we found Edtron."

"Bitch, where?" Trent said.

"Art District, come on!"

Back in the art pavilion, Ryan and Jesse were doing everything they could to hold Edtron off, but each time they got close to him, they would get thrown in another direction.

"Nothing's working!" Ryan said. He got up and threw his shield again, but it didn't doing anything. "Fucking shit!" he yelled.

Just then, Karl lowered himself with Trent.

"Where's Cockeye?" Ryan asked.

"I couldn't carry both at once," Karl said. "Bloke took up all the room!"

"In my defense," Trent said.

"No time!" Ryan said. "Karl, go get Cockeye. Bloke, get mad!"

"Mad at what?" Trent said as Karl flew away.

"I dunno, uhm… .tor, say something to piss him off."

"Uuuuhhhh," Jesse said. "ALL is better than Descendents."

"I respect your opinion," Trent said.

".tor!" Ryan yelled, as Edtron approached.

"Who's this fatass?"

Trent felt his adrenaline rush. "I'm not fat," he said. "I just have thick bones!" He grew two sizes taller and pushed Edtron over. Trent jumped on top of him and began wailing the shit out of him.

"Fucking savage!" Ryan yelled as he watched the fight go on.

"This isn't even my final form!" Trent yelled, and screamed into the atmosphere. He grew even bigger and began swinging Edtron around in a circle. He let go and threw Edtron into a building.

"OH JEYSUS," Edtron yelled, getting up and trying to regain his balance.

"You wanna talk more shit?!" Trent yelled. Edtron ran to the right, and Trent chased after him. Ryan and Jesse watched in anticipation.

Edtron jumped behind a food cart and frantically looked for something to use as a weapon. All he found was a bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos. He opened it, and threw it at Trent, who fell on his back.

"FUCKING SHIT," Trent yelled, and ran in the opposite direction, passed Ryan and Jesse.

"Bloke!" Ryan yelled. "Where you going?!"

"Shit's too fucking hot!" Trent yelled, and ran into the public fountain across the street.

"Well, great!" Ryan yelled. "Now what are we supposed to do?"

Just then, Karl came flying back holding Vince, and lowered him onto the ground.

"Cockeye!" Ryan exclaimed. "We need you to spit some hot fire!"

"NIGGA, I GOTCHU," Vince yelled.

Edtron walked up to him. "You expect a nigger to beat me?"

"I AIN'T BLACK NIGGA, SHIT!" Vince said.

"Cockeye!" Ryan said. "Fire!"

"O RIGHT RIGHT SORRY BRO." Vince cleared his throat. "I BROKE UP WITH MY EX GIRL. HERE'S HER NUMBER." Vince held out his hand, and Edtron looked at it. "PSYCH! THAT'S THE WROOOONG NUMBER!"

The rest of the Memevengers screamed. It was so hot, Karl had to brush off his face, and Trent had to remain in the fountain for even longer because he wasn't cooled down yet.

Edtron began to quiver with fear.

"It's working!" Ryan whispered to Vince. "Do something else."

Vince cleared his throat. "CAT." They gasped. "SPAT." The gasped louder. "RAT!" Louder. "BAT!" Louder. "CLAT THAT SMAT SHAT!" They all screamed and Edtron fell to the floor. "GOTCHA, BITCH!"

Edtron looked up at him. "Fuck that!" and he grabbed Vince's leg, and threw him into the fountain with Trent.

"Oh shit," Trent said. "You shouldn't have done that."

Edtron looked at the water with a confused glance. Ryan, Jesse, and Karl ducked behind a bush. Edtron looked at them, and then back at the water.

Vince jumped out of the water, waved his arms around, beat his chest, and ran up to Edtron.

"SWING FIRST!" he yelled. "SWING FIRST! I AIN'T GOING TO JAIL NIGGA SWING FIRST SWING FIRST NIGGA SWING FIRST I AIN'T GOING TO JAIL MAN SWING FIRST SWING FIRST!"

He got Edtron to back up against the building. Vince held him there for a good five minutes. The rest of the Memevengers looked at each other in odd amazement.

"Okay, okay!" Edtron yelled. "I give up!"

"SHIT," Vince yelled. "I WRECKED YOUR ASS NIGGA, SHIT!"

"Hey!" Karl said. "I didn't get to do anything!" He held out his fist and began showering Edtron with bullets, which kept bouncing off of him.

"Hey," a voice across the street yelled. Nobody looked. "HEY!" it yelled louder. The Memevengers turned their heads to a lady in a wheelchair. "Stop fighting!"

"Sorry!" Karl said, and when he looked back, Edtron was gone. They all looked around for him but couldn't find him anywhere.

"Hah hah, bitch!" he yelled. "You may have one this round, but I'll be back for more! See ya, bitches!" and he vanished.

"Fuck you, I-Ron Man!" Ryan yelled. "We had him!"

"Whoa, take it easy, man!" Karl replied.

"Ugh!"

Braxton and Adam pulled up in the green truck.

"ayy, fellers," Braxton said. "did ya get him?"

"We did until I-Ron Man fucked it up!" Trent yelled.

"Nigga, don't point fingers at me!" Karl yelled. "I just wanted some action, too!"

"YO ACTION FUCKED IT ALL UP" Vince said. "AN WE LOST HIM!"

"Yeah, but… uhm…" Karl held out his finger with his mouth open, but couldn't defend himself.

"a'ight," Braxton said. "Lez jus' talk this ova a pl8 of Wing Stop."

They all agreed, and Karl apologized. They went back home and went to their night hangout, Wingstop.

 **Chapter 3: The Assassinations**

"shit man, i luv me sum wings," Braxton said.

"Well don't get too excited," Ryan said. "Edtron is still on the loose. We can't let our guard down."

"wutevr."

They all sat around the table, mostly drinking, regaining the energy they lost.

"Hey Bloke," Adam said. "I think I'm gonna get some ice cream. You want some?"

"I've given up ice cream for a month," Trent said. "But I'll get a shake."

"Ice cream is a shake, you dumbass," Ryan said.

"No it's not. 'cause you drink it."

"Nigga, it's melted ice cream!"

"No," Trent continued. "You don't drink ice cream."

Ryan looked at him, stupefied. He looked at Adam. "You see this shit?"

"I'm staying out of this," she said.

"You brought it up!"

"Hey, that's mean!" Karl said.

"Fuck you," Ryan responded. "You fucked us over earlier!"

"I thought we put that behind us!"

"Hey, calm down," Trent said. "Let's just relax."

"Hey," the Wing Stop employee said from the counter. "I got an order for 'Dick Fury."

"ayyyy," Braxton said, and got up to get his food.

"Already?" Ryan said. "We just got here."

"Well," Trent said. "It is FAST food."

Braxton put his plate on the table and sat down. He rubbed his hands together and got ready to chow down.

"Fury, wait," Ryan said.

"no," Braxton said. "i'm hungry af."

"Chill out, dude," Karl said.

Braxton gobbled down his first wing like a true nigger, getting barbeque sauce all over his face and clothes. "shit's good."

"Alright," Ryan said.

Braxton began to eat more wings. He then yelled out an "AW FUCK" and collapsed onto the floor.

Adam got down beside him and looked into the wings. She smelled the food. "Peanuts!"

They gasped and looked towards the door, which was swinging open and close, like someone just ran out.

"Edtron!" Ryan yelled. "Cockeye, come on!"

Him and Vince got up and rushed out of the restaurant. The rest gathered around Braxton.

"Is he okay?" Trent asked.

"I don't know," Adam said. "Fury, look at me."

"nah, fool, u ugly," Braxton said.

"Look at me!" Karl said.

"a'ight."

"Fury," Trent said. "I didn't want to have to tell you this, but since you're dying, I guess I have no choice."

"wut is it?"

"All my life, I've been using PCs."

Braxton let out one last laugh, then twitched and stopped breathing. Adam stood up, and they all looked at their fallen leader.

Ryan and Vince came back into the restaurant. "Is he dead?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah," Karl said.

"FUCK."

The next morning, they gave him a private funeral, and on his tombstone, they gave him an epitaph they thought was appropriate: "wrekt."

They walked around the lake in the cemetery, not speaking until Ryan said something.

"Edtron could be anywhere," he said. "We gotta be on the lookout."

"MAN HIS SCRAWNY ASS DOESN'T SCARE ME," Vince said.

"Well, it worries me," Ryan said. "One down, six more to go."

They all remained quiet and stared at the lake.

"MAN FUCK THIS DOWNER SHIT!" Vince yelled. "I'M GOING HOME."

He began to walk away. "Vince, wait!" Adam yelled.

"FUCK OFF, PUSSY BITCH."

They watched him leave.

"We have to follow him!" Adam pleed.

"No," Ryan said. "He's probably the next to go, the way he practically defeated Edtron."

Adam sighed, and the rest of them looked back at the horizon.

When Vince got home, he slammed himself down onto his computer and commenced a binge gaming of Tekken. He played about 10 rounds and didn't win a single match.

Suddenly, he heard a voice behind him. "You keep playing pussy in Tekken, you gonna get fucked."

Vince slowly turned himself around, and saw Edtron standing in his doorway. "NO WAY NIGGA, FUCK THAT!" and he got up to go to his boombox.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Edtron said.

"NIGGA, I SMASHED YOUR ASS EARLIER," Vince said. "I'LL DO IT AGAIN."

They both stood staring at each other, Vince standing near the boombox. He smashed his hand on it, and a beat came out.

"AY, IT'S YA BOY," Vince began.

Edtron whipped a Pokeball out from his pocket and threw it at the wall; a Jigglypuff came out, and began rolling around on the floor.

"DA FUCK IS THAT?" Vince yelled, and the Jigglypuff began to smash Vince to the ground. Edtron threw two more Pokeballs that had more Jiggypuffs, and they all joined in on smashing Vince. Vince tried his best to fight, but he couldn't do it. He just laid there and took it like a bitch.

"Buh bye, Cockeye," Edtron said, and left the premises, leaving Vince to die at the hands of Jigglypuffs.

Ryan was with Adam at her Hollywood apartment. They were listening to Beach House and sitting on the couch.

"Fuck dude," Adam said. "I'm really worried about Cockeye."

"Well, there's nothing we can really do. Let his ego get the best of him, I guess."

They just sat and listened to the music.

"Is it really the right thing to just let him die?" Adam asked.

Ryan sighed. "Probably not."

Adam slowly turned her head and looked at Ryan. "We have to do something."

Ryan thought about it for a second. "I guess you're right." He got up, and Adam got up to follow. "No, you stay here and rest," Ryan said to her. "You're still pretty beat up from earlier."

Adam relentlessly sat down.

"I'll make sure nothing happens to Cockeye, alright?" Ryan told her.

"Okay."

Ryan left, and Adam sat on her couch. She just laid back and listened to the music with a glass of Sprite in her hand, until she heard something on her balcony. She slowly got up, and went outside. She creeped her way over to the edge and peered down.

All of a sudden, a robotic arm pushed her onto her back. "Hey, don't push me!" she yelled. She lifted her head up, and saw Edtron standing on the edge, holding her drink.

"Hello, Adam," he said.

"Edtron," she replied. "What do you want?"

"NOTHING!" Edtron yelled, and climbed back down the building. Adam went to the ledge and peered over again; she was pushed by his arm onto her back.

She lifted her head and saw Edtron standing there again. "What do you want?" she asked.

"Precious rubber band," Edtron replied.

"Are you crazy?" she yelled. "You'll destroy the city! YOU'RE A HACK!"

He reached out and snatched her up by one of her legs and held her off of the edge, over the street.

She screamed. "Alrightalright alrightalright alrightalright alrightalright! Put me down! We'll make a deal!" Edtron pulled her back over, and placed her on the floor. She slowly got to her feet with her eyes wide looking at him. She lifted her finger. "YOU'RE A HACK!"

He reached out and snatched her up by one of her legs and held her off of the edge, over the street.

She screamed. "Alrightalright! Put me down! We'll make a deal!" Edtron pulled her back over, and placed her on the floor. She slowly got to her feet with her eyes wide looking at him. "What is it that you want?"

"Well," he said. "I figured that if I talked to the greatest filmmaker in the business, she can get as many eyes to watch me as possible."

"And?"

Edtron walked into her house. "I want to be a star!"

"A YouTube star, I assume? After you stole that play button from WatchMojo?"

"Exactly!" he said. "I don't know if you notice this, but on YouTube, most of the top subscribed are either white men or niggers reacting to other videos."

"Your point?"

"Well, it's kinda hard to gain an audience when you're a Latino, get what I'm saying?"

She looked at him. "How many viewers do you get per video?"

He sat down, and looked at the floor. Then he slowly looked back up at her. "30 random viewers."

She began to laugh. "30?! Just 30?!"

"Shut up!" he said. "You don't know how disappointing that number is!"

"What kind of content do you create? Let's Plays?"

He looked at her sternly, and she kept laughing at him.

"What?" she said. "Do you have a Let's Play of Slender? Or do you go for more obscure shit, like Toontown?"

"Shut up," he said.

"Well I mean how much of a bandwagon can you possibly jump on?"

His anger began to rise. "Don't say that."

"What, bandwagon? 'Oh, hi, my name's Edtrin, and I like to hop on the bandwagon.'"

He snatched out and grabbed her leg and threw her in a closet. He stood at the entrance of it and stared at her.

"You going to help me or not?" he said.

"Well," she said quietly. "I mean… maybe if… you created more original content, you could-"

He snapped, and pulled out a cat from behind him, threw it in with her, and slammed the door, locking it.

"What the fuck?" she yelled. "Let me out! I can't fucking breathe, I'm allergic to cats!"

"I know," Edtron said as he walked away.

"EDTROOON!" she yelled. "Edtron, come back! I'm sorry!"

She continued yelling for him, but he ignored her, and left the building.

Ryan rushed to Vince's house. He knocked on the door.

"Cockeye!" he yelled, and knocked more. "Cockeye, get out here!" He kicked the door down and pushed his way through the house, but there was nobody home. Ryan ran back to Adam's apartment, where he found her lifeless body in the closet with the cat.

"Fuck!" he yelled. He sat on her sofa, and called Karl; no answer. Without any other plan, he took Adam's guns and rushed his way to Karl's house.

He knocked on the door, and Jesse answered.

".tor!" Ryan said. ".tor, Cockeye and Black and White Widow are dead!"

"They're not the only ones," Jesse said.

"wh… what?" Ryan replied.

Jesse let Ryan in the house, where he found Karl's dead body city in a chair.

"I'm going to kill Edtron, I swear!"

"Oh, Edtron didn't kill I-Ron Man," Jesse said. "He overdosed on marijuana."

Ryan stood dead in his tracks. "Oh."

Just then, his phone began to ring. It was Trent.

Ryan answered. "Hello?"

"Ay, bb, I have an idea on how to get rid of Edtron."

"Well we better come up with that idea quickly," Ryan said. "Cockeye and Black and White Widow are dead."

"Really? Fuck." Trent was quiet for a minute. "Okay, meet me at the top of the US Bank Tower in twenty minutes. It involves using the sky." He hung up.

"US Bank Tower," Ryan said. "You ready?"

"I'm down," Jesse said.

"Alright, let's roll."

 **Chapter 4: The Final Showdown**

Jesse and Ryan made it to the top of the US Bank Tower and saw Trent waiting for them.

"Hey," Ryan said.

"Yo," Trent replied.

"Well, what's the idea?"

"So, basically, what I was think of was, uhm.." All of a sudden, Edtron's robotic arm smashed through Trent's stomach. Trent looked at Edtron, who was behind him. "Aw fuck," he said. "I can't believe you've done this."

Edtron released his body, and Trent fell of the building.

"Edtron, you motherfucker!" Ryan yelled. "I'm done with your shit!"

"Oh, you are?" Edtron asked.

"Yeah!" Ryan said.

Edtron swung his arm out and knocked Jesse off the building. Ryan built up his rage and body tackled Edtron. Both of them fell off the building and began to plummet towards earth. Edtron grabbed the side of the building and catapulted them both on top of a passing train. Ryan began to use his Vietnam combat to fight Edtron, who only knew how to grab and swing his arm around. As long as Ryan could dodge his arms, Edtron couldn't do anything.

Edtron swung for Ryan's legs, but Ryan jumped and kicked Edtron in the face. Edtron fell on his back, but pushed himself back up and knocked Ryan off of the train. Ryan swung himself into the locamotive and startled the passengers.

"Captain 'Merica!" they yelled.

"Everyone get down!" Ryan exclaimed, and they all jumped to the floor as Edtron found his way into the car. He grabbed Ryan and threw him to the front of the train. Edtron hurried to the control both, and pushed the trains gear into fullspeed. They were now going down the tracks at 95 miles per hour.

Not knowing what to do, Ryan climbed onto the front of the train and stood on the edge.

He turned to the passengers. "Tell everybody to hang on!"

An old man standing in the front did, and Ryan looked down at the tracks. He lept off the platform, held onto the front of the train, and tried slowing it down by placing his feet on the tracks. His legs gave way and he jumped back up, moaning in pain.

"Anymore bright ideas?" The old man said.

Ryan looked at him. "I got a few! Yeah!"

Ryan looked down at the tracks. He lept off the platform, held onto the front of the train, and tried slowing it down by placing his feet on the tracks. His legs gave way and he jumped back up, moaning in pain.

"Anymore bright ideas?" The old man said.

Ryan looked at him. "Yeah!"

Ryan looked down at the tracks. He lept off the platform, held onto the front of the train, and tried slowing it down by placing his feet on the tracks. His legs gave way and he jumped back up, moaning in pain.

Ryan attempted to leap off the platform again, but the passengers held him back. He was grabbed by Edtron, who was standing on top of the train.

Edtron pulled Ryan up and looked him in the eyes. "AY BUDDAY!" he yelled. Edtron threw Ryan off the tracks and he landed on the sidewalk in the middle of Downtown. Edtron jumped down and looked at him. Ryan was lying on his back, defenseless.

Edtron reached out, grabbed Ryan by the neck, and pulled him up. Ryan was choking, and just hung there looking Edtron in the eyes. Ryan began to turn purple, and started to pass out.

"AY BITCH," a voice from behind said. Edtron slowly turned around and saw Vince standing at the end of the street. He was beat up with bruises and scratches, but he stood on both feet, carrying his bow and arrow, staring Edtron in the eye. Edtron dropped Ryan and turned his body towards Vince.

Vince raised up one finger and nodded his head.

"Well?" Edtron said. "I'm waiting!"

Vince raised his bow and aimed it at Edtron. "ARIZONA ICED OUT BOY," he said, and shot the flaming arrow. It struck Edtron in the knee, but he pulled it out and continued staring.

"Pussy shit!" Edtron said.

Vince aimed another arrow. "WHO DAT, WHO DAT?" he said, and shot it at Edtron, this one hitting him in the shoulder blade. Edtron yelled, but took it out and kept looking at Vince.

"COME ON!" Edtron yelled. "Let's DO THIS THING!"

Vince raised another arrow, and raised an eyebrow at Edtron. He let out a "uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh," hyping up whatever he was about to say. Edtron backed up a little, and looked at Ryan. Ryan quickly got up and ran for cover. Edtron turned back at Vince, who was still hyping his next verse. "uuuuuuUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH sama lamaa duma lamaa you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber So that anything you say is ricocheting off of me and it'll glue to you I'm devastating, more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know the haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'd be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated I make elevating music, you make elevator music!"

Vince shot hundreds of flaming arrows at Edtron while spitting this legendary verse, and when he was finished, he waited for the smoke to die down so he could see what happened. The only thing remaining of Edtron was his snapback. The rest was completely obliterated.

Ryan emerged from his hiding spot, and approached Vince.

"Cockeye," he said. "You're alive!"

"MAN NIGGA DIDN'T DO SHIT HE THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE TAKEN DOWN BY A BUNCH OF JIGGLE SHIT KEK NO WAY I'M FUCKING GOOD MAN I'M GOOD."

"How did you defeat the Jigglypuffs?"

"I WAS DROOLING SO MUCH I FLOODED THE ROOM."

Ryan and Vince laughed and walked off the site of Edtron's demise.

 **Epilogue**

Ryan and Vince both gave up crime fighting and instead on their music careers. Together, they made rap rock the hottest genre on the Billboard charts.

Their album, The Way White People Is, won three grammys and became the highest selling album that year. After the ceremony, they celebrated their victory by hosting a party at Vince's mansion.

Later in the party, after all the guests left, Vince and Ryan were left alone, standing in the foyer, holding glasses of champagne.

"DAMN MAN LEMME TELL YOU," Vince said. "I'VE NEVER BEEN INTO ROCK BUT HOLY FUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE THE KINDA MUSIC YOU MAKE MAN IT'S SO SICK NIGGA SHIT."

"Back at you about rap, buddy," Ryan replied. He raised his glass for a toast. "Here's to infinite years to success and the memories we have with the Memevengers."

"ALRIGHT MAN COOL."

They lifted their glasses and began to drink, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. They looked at each other in suspicion, and Ryan handed Vince his glass. Ryan slowly walked towards the front door.

He put reached for the handle.

Slowly turned it.

Open the door.

Get on the floor.

Everybody walk the dinosaur.


End file.
